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For the third album in a row, I’ve decided to showcase each track in a “behind the song” blog series. I hope some listeners find it interesting or helpful. “Anxiety” is the seventh track from my latest release, The Fine Print. For convenience, the lyrics and YouTube & Spotify streams are at the bottom of this post.

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This song came about because I decided I should write a song about anxiety, something I’ve experienced to varying degrees for all my life. It plays a big role in my life, so I thought it was important.

I started this song when I was on a big free writing kick. In other words, I would set a timer for 5 minutes or whatever and just free write on a topic. I really need to do this more often than I do, because I would probably never get writer’s block writing that way.

But anyway, that’s how I decided to start my “anxiety” song. I sat and wrote about how anxiety makes me feel, trying to focus on the sensory and physiological aspects (as opposed to emotional and behavioral). A lot of those phrases made it into the song in some form or other. In fact, by the time I was done with my free writing, the lyrics kind of wrote itself because I had so many great phrases to choose from that it was easy to form it into a structure and rhyme it and everything. That’s the cool thing about free writing.

Lyrically I think it came out perfect. It describes so perfectly how my anxiety feels, which is exactly what I intended it to do. And if I can say so, I think it’s well-written — I think I should be allowed to say so, because I’ll be the first to admit when something of mine is poorly written.

The melody came pretty easily too. It’s usually not so hard for me to write melodies if the lyrics are already finished. I just came up with something that sounded pretty to my ear, and calming. I felt that was appropriate for the lyrics — even as they’re describing what it feels like to have anxiety, they are also a calming song in the throes of it.

In keeping with the calming mood, I decided to keep the production mainly acoustic, but I did some little experimentation with strings. I had to keep them pretty subtle, because they are virtual strings and I noticed that becomes pretty obvious when you try anything remotely complicated. But subtle notes and chords sound great, to my ear at least. I also added some harmonies — if you listen closely in the last part of the song, there are vocal harmonies in unison with the strings, although it’s pretty hard to hear them if you’re not listening for them.

Overall I was pretty satisfied with the simple production of this song and the overall calming vibes that the lyrics, melody, and strings give it. I hope I did justice to all of my fellow anxiety sufferers out there. At least I can say for sure that I did justice to myself!

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LYRICS

It starts with a shortness of breath
I don’t know why it feels like someone’s sitting on my chest
Or maybe like we’re floating out in space without any oxygen

If I listened to my body, it would always have me believe
That nothing’s ever gonna be okay
But I believe the doctors when they say it’s only anxiety
And nothing else is really wrong with me

So I can focus on my face, feel the tension, let it go
Still my arms and still my legs and let myself sink into bed
Don’t search for answers I don’t need to know

And the worry is never far from my mind
When I’m lying in bed after the day fades to night
It’s brought on by the silent, still darkness when I know I should be sleeping

If I took my thoughts at face value
Then everything would be a threat
And not a thing would ever go my way
But there’s a safer part inside my brain
That says it’s probably gonna be okay
And this is probably not my dying day

And for now I feel secure and I’ve got a roof above my head
For now I’m safe and warm, tomorrow isn’t my concern
As long as for today I have been fed

But anyway, my greatest worry I can’t shake
Is the possibility of living for a century with unfulfilled dreams
Resigned and given up and just a shell of who I am today

So I can focus on my face, feel the tension, let it go
Still my arms and still my legs and let myself sink into bed
Every single day I’m making progress

For the third album in a row, I’ve decided to showcase each track in a “behind the song” blog series. I hope some listeners find it interesting or helpful. “The Fine Print” is the sixth (and title) track from my latest release, The Fine Print. For convenience, the lyrics and YouTube & Spotify streams are at the bottom of this post.

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I settled on this as the title track of the new album before I even knew what else would be on the album… actually, before I even finished the song. As usual, that put extra pressure on me to write something good, and I must admit that it does tend to lead me to choose safe melodies, which doesn’t really bother me in songs, but apparently it bothers other people, ha. But I’m mostly just happy that the pressure didn’t prevent me from ever finishing the song at all.

This song basically started with me just thinking the phrase “the fine print” was kind of poetic, and I wanted to come up with a concept for it. Eventually I came up with “up until now, all my life has been in the fine print.” And then I used a technique that is common for some songwriters but that I rarely use: I took a bunch of random lyrical ideas accumulated through the years and smashed them all together into one song. Obviously, I only chose the ones that were relevant, but I was very happy to be able to make use of so many lines that had always felt great, but I could never think of what song to put them in before.

That’s where I found the bridge, the first pre-chorus, and bits of both verses. The rest came from either lyrical free writes, or just crafting the song into a coherent whole once it was mostly finished. I’ve always found it very easy to come up with a line here and there when the bones of the song are already in place. It’s the bones that are easier said than done.

Now, even though it was the title track and I really wanted it to turn out well, I did not feel the same paralyzing pressure on the production as I did on the songwriting. I just had fun with it.

This album is probably the first time I’ve actually played around with dynamics, especially with adding and removing extra instruments, so I really enjoyed putting the dramatically quiet pre-choruses between relatively loud verses and choruses. I got mixed feedback about it, but I liked it, and I’m excited anyway to be using a new tool in my kit. Anyway, as on some of the other songs, I added in some electric guitar hooks and drum loops and called it a day.

Lyrically, this is one of my favorites (perhaps my top favorite) on the album and means a lot to me, and I think listeners enjoy the lyrics too. (You could always watch the lyric video on mute and pretend it’s a poem!) Musically, most people think it is one of the weaker songs on the album. I like it, but of course I can’t be objective. But the good thing is that (in my opinion) my weaker songs now are still better than most of my stronger songs in the past, and that’s basically all we creators can ever hope for in our journeys. So I’m pretty satisfied, but looking forward to making the next album even better!

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LYRICS

Been feeling like life’s already passing me by
With a heart weighted down from missing everyone who’s left my life
My heroes are all middle aged and I’m running out of drive
I feel like I’ve waited too long, and I never wanted to wait too long

And you could say time, time’s still on my side
But it’s quickly growing tired
Tired of all of my waiting around and all my insecurities

Because up until now, all my life has been in the fine print
But if I could choose, then it would be on a billboard while a spotlight surrounds it

Outgroups and borders, they’re so boring
I want to learn every language and go out and speak them
I want to fight in every single righteous revolution
I know I want too much, and I don’t want to want too much

And you might say pain, pain means you need a break
But if your feet hurt at the end of the day
Your day was probably better spent than a day where everything felt fine

It’s time to draw a line in this quicksand I’ve been drowning in
The greater the risk, the greater the potential win
The greatest risk of all is dying unfulfilled

Up until now, all my life has been in the fine print
But it’s time to move it on to a billboard where a spotlight surrounds it