Millennials Are Going Gray

Millennials Are Going Gray

Cover design by Matthew John Corrales.

Millennials Are Going Gray is a DIY release from July 19, 2019. The best place to purchase downloads is at my web store. You can also stream on Spotify/YouTube (below) or Soundcloud, purchase from Bandcamp or Amazon, or stream/download from any other digital service you like.

TRACK LISTING

  1. We Were Pioneers
  2. Empty
  3. Millennials Are Going Gray
  4. Brianna
  5. Gatekeeper
  6. This Is the Era
  7. Posters on My Bedroom Wall

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Lyrics

1. WE WERE PIONEERS

I dream of what I think about before bed
And I had a lazy Sunday marathon of Ken Burns on the West
So I had a dream we escaped all oppression
And we went somewhere, somewhere where no one could touch us
And there we were
Modest possessions packed up in our wagon
All to leave this behind for a better, freer life
And it’s a dangerous world out there
We could fail and we could die
But we’re itching for adventure, for a change and it’s our time

Why do we spend our days lazing around?
Talking a big talk and playing games
We don’t do what we want because we’re too afraid
And I know, I know, I know we could do better
There’s nothing we can’t do if we stick together
Because once, we were pioneers
Yeah, we were pioneers

I dream of what I think about before bed
And I played Oregon Trail last night until my eyes were red
Do you remember when we played it in school as kids?
Do you remember the dreams that we dreamed when we played it?
Back in our new home
More than a century and two thousand miles away
We plotted over drinks with the exciting friends we made
We’ve got a blank canvas here, this town is the edge of the earth
And we can make it anything we want it to be, it’s our turn

I had a dream that you and I were pioneers
I woke up wondering what had happened that we wound up here
We were the kids with the big dreams and the bright minds
And now we’re overgrown kids cramping our parents’ styles

And it doesn’t seem it’s going to work out how we wanted
You’ve got a food baby, I’m still in my pajamas
But the way I see it, life’s a game
Where you maximize its length, maximize the pleasure and minimize the pain
And you and I, we’re people who were not supposed to lose
And every day is a potential new beginning

We’ll leave everything behind, build a new life in a new place
If only in our minds
Because once, we were pioneers
Yeah, we were pioneers

2. EMPTY

If you ever feel lost in your life when you think that you’ve failed
And it’s one thing after another like you’re sitting on a train that’s derailed
You can always escape with mindless TV and sweatshop sweeps
But what if you took the challenge to do something of value, to keep dreaming?

This is not a dark abyss, it’s a big empty pickup truck
And not every space needs some junk just to say it’s filled up
But if you’re gonna fill it up, if you’re gonna fill it up…
If it’s empty, then fill it with the things that you love
If you’re empty, give your best, don’t you know you’re enough?
Know you’re enough

What lies beyond this planet and this life is still mostly unknown
And it’s something that we all must come to terms with all on our own
And I know you’ll be tempted with tales of better places and higher plans
But sometimes the greatest beauty is to design it yourself
And live it out as best as you can

You can fill it up with trash someone told you you needed to have
Or you can fill it up with magical things that spark joy that will last

Empty, empty

3. MILLENNIALS ARE GOING GRAY

“I don’t know,” they told me when I asked if we would be okay
Watching the world burn slowly
We drove to Hoboken and watched the smoke rise
Just staring speechless at a terrifying sight
I was very young, wondering how much closer I was to dying
But then we’re all dying

Millennials aren’t the children, we remember 9/11
It was decades ago now
Millennials are going gray, just another generation trying to make our way
Millennials are going fucking gray

And I’ve got two gray hairs
Right in the center of my scalp, bold and ready
For my enemies and friends to stare down
And the baby that I babysat is smoking lots of weed
Down in the shadows right behind my high school bleachers
I’m getting older, wondering how much closer I am to dying
But then we’re all dying

They try to tell us we should be chasing an elusive stability
That when we’re old we’ll want the money
And we won’t give a shit about these dreams
It’s like they’ve never seen those deathbed surveys
And when you graduated college when there were no jobs anywhere in sight
It’s only natural to wonder, what do I really want to do with this short life?
And if you’ve never wondered that then you’re not living it right

Millennials aren’t the children, we remember 9/11
It was decades ago now
Millennials are going gray, just another generation trying to make our way
Millennials are going fucking gray
We’re never gonna be perfect but we’ll find our way
Millennials are going fucking gray

Da da da da da da, da da da da da da
Da da da

4. BRIANNA

Remember the day you turned five?
The rest of us thought you were the oldest girl alive
We asked if you could tie your shoes now
You fumbled with the laces, then you bowed your head down

Oh Brianna, are you looking out your window like I’m looking out mine?
Just like that our faces age
Sitting here waiting out the rainy days
Oh Brianna, are we ever going to be okay?

Now that we’re old or so it seems
Isn’t it time we should’ve captured all our dreams?
All we wanted when we were young
I almost can’t remember, it’s been so long

And I know the truth
We’re never, ever, ever going to catch up over tea
And I know that’s youth
There’s no more hand to hold, but we’re free

Brianna, are you looking out your window like I’m looking out mine?
Time has passed but we’re the same
Lost and unskilled, and waiting to be trained
Oh Brianna, but it’ll be okay

5. GATEKEEPER

I see you and I want to know you
You’re hot and you move and socialize with such grace
Good at everything and you’re well read too
Got your shit together in a worthless place
I watch and I daydream and I work up the courage
And if you pushed me away, then it would devastate me

If you don’t think I’m smart, I’m not smart
If you don’t think I’m cool, I’m not cool
If you want nothing to do with me
There can be nothing in the world of which I am worthy

When you finally condescend to meet me
You’re not giving me a lot but I’ve still got hope
Every day’s a new day when you might see
What you never see, that I’m worth getting to know
I laugh and tell stories when I know you’re in earshot
But every time it’s worse when your interest never stirs

If you don’t think I’m smart, I’m not smart
If you don’t think I’m cool, I’m not cool
If you want nothing to do with me
There can be nothing in the world of which I am worthy
But hell if I’m just going to let you be
The gatekeeper to a world that doesn’t want me

And as I read the highbrow papers
With my morning oatmeal like I’ve got some direction
I think how there’d be nothing cooler
Than for me to shrug off an inconsequential rejection
And I don’t care how far this cost has sunk, I’m done
And I know that even if I can never attract you, I have value

If you don’t think I’m smart, you’re not smart
If you don’t think I’m cool, you’re not cool
If you want nothing to do with me
Then I’m the one who decides that I am worthy

6. THIS IS THE ERA

This is the era of one-click friendships
And one-click falling outs at the first hint of difference
She friended me after a party where we exchanged a mere handful of words
Then we had some late night heart to hearts and it felt good to be heard
But before we met again she dropped me after one link I shared
And my political views say “Skeptic” and hers are agree or get out
There was no option to appeal the decision
And we look just like strangers when we see each other now

This is the era of online businessmen
Who make their fortunes off eBooks of their secrets
I saw an ad on social media, blocking the things I really want from my feed
Promised me riches and a freedom most can only dream
I scrolled down for half an hour just to see where it led
And the red text at the bottom, assaulting my eyes
Said “Snag this deal while you still can”
A hundred dollars, hundred pages, for one simple truth:
When they can’t create value, then they just invent it

This is the era of libertarians
Who seek a fortress guarded by high-tech Nazis
I see them wrapped up in their bubble
Blocking detractors just like everyone else
They flip, they don’t just stretch, the meanings of the words that they sell
When they hate free movement and free trade across imagined lines
Protect my industry, protect my family, they don’t care about the rest
I could see them defending chattel slavery as long as their own rights were protected

But it’s going to be okay, okay okay
Because we can still stand up, make changes
So let’s defy them all, the online robber barons and the fascist libertarians
Be true to ourselves and let’s dream and let’s love
It’s the only way we will get through this life
It’s not about what’s wrong, it’s about what’s right

7. POSTERS ON MY BEDROOM WALL

I’m fifteen, I don’t have many friends
I don’t know where I want to be, I don’t know what I want to do
Or if I’ll ever fall in love
I’ve got posters of musicians on my wall
I sit in my computer chair and casually strum a guitar
I say to one of my two dimensional heroes,
“Will I ever figure this out? Will I ever get there?”
They make me feel good, like I can take on the world
But I’m just talking to the posters on my bedroom wall

My twenties, I don’t have many friends
But I know where I want to be, and I know what I want to do
And someday I’ll fall in love
I’ve got posters of musicians on my wall
I sit in my computer chair and casually strum a guitar
I say to one of my two dimensional heroes,
“Will I ever be like you? Will we ever share a stage?”
But when I go to their shows I’ve got nothing to say
Because I’m just talking to the posters on my bedroom wall

And I’m meant to be so much more than this
I’ve got so many songs in my heart that I can’t resist
I never learned how to speak my thoughts out loud
I can only form the words when I know that there’s no one around
I’m meant to do so much more than this
So much more
Than just talking to the posters on my bedroom wall